Ladies (and Gentlemen), have I got something FABULOUS for you!
It’s a resource that can literally change your life, through changing your relationships with men—an amazing window to understanding men.
My mentor Pamelah Landers turned me on to this goddess, Alison Armstrong, and her website (click here).
The link I’ve given you takes you directly to her “free stuff” page, where you can choose things to read, listen to, or watch. The content is absolutely phenomenal. In an hour’s time, I’ve discovered things that are changing my already good marriage for the better.
Spend 30 minutes, an hour, whatever time you have on this page and its various links, and you’ll come away a great deal more enlightened. I grew up with 3 brothers and a father, and I never knew this stuff. This is the kind of treasure every girl and woman should be given before entering into a relationship that matters to her.
And every gent ought to read this to get what it is women don’t automatically understand!
Here an awesome morsel as an example:
Learning About Men From Men
by Alison A. Armstrong
[…]
How to Listen to Men
To create the kind of situation that enables men to communicate fully, remember this:
- Make sure it is a good time to ask a question. This means when he is not doing anything else (including things you don’t think are important). To check, you can ask, “Is this a good time to ask a question?” Don’t take it personally if he says no and try again at a later time.
- After you ask the question, give him time to think before he responds. He is not taking the answer off the top of his head, he is really thinking about it. That is the respect he is paying to your question. Just wait patiently while he thinks. If you prompt him, or rephrase your question, that will interrupt his thought processes.
- Once he starts talking, don’t interrupt him. This includes a comment, objection or another question.
- Watch nodding your head excessively, or agreeing verbally. This can also be an interruption.
- When it seems like he is finished, listen “one minute longer.” Do this until he says he is done. When he takes a breath, don’t jump in. While men are accused of being “shallow,” they are actually the opposite. They are like deep, deep wells. If you don’t give him a chance to draw up another bucket, you will only get what was on the surface.
- Make sure you are safe to talk to — this means that you can’t have a “right answer” in mind. If his answer will get him in trouble with you, he can tell this and is likely to not answer at all. The odds of him answering the question the way you would are slim, be willing to be surprised and learn something from him.
- Appreciate him for answering your question. Even if you didn’t like the answer, he honored your question with a response.
Alison has a list of 101 great questions to ask men—I’ve used it and have had some amazing conversations with my husband. Dig in and find it! (click here).
Coach’s Challenge: Spend 15 minute reading Alison’s stuff about understanding men, and come back here to post a comment about something you learned. We can celebrate getting enlightened, together!