I’ve been doing some deep work with my genius intuitive associate, Jessicka Chamberlain, creative consultant extraordinaire. She’s been teaching me about the deep and essential role of emotion in manifesting, including this key to manifesting magic: want vs. desire.

Today I thought I’d pass along this initial nugget, about the difference between “wants” and “desires” as well asthe appropriate response to each of them for effective manifestation.

A “want” is something that is based in lack. It’s the gap between where you are now, and where you wish you were instead. We experience wants as a pain of some sort: unhappiness, dissatisfaction, frustration, irritation, impatience, maybe even feeling downright pissed off, and any number of other negative variation. Wants are the stuff that sprout complaints.

A “desire,” on the other hand, is something to which you can say an unequivocal “yes.” You can feel that “yes” throughout your body and mind. It provokes tingles of delight, goose bumps of anticipation, shivers of bliss. Yes!

These two are inextricably entwined, in that wants serve as a roto rooter to bring up all the sludge between you and fulfillment of the consequent desire. In fact, authentic desires emerge from wants. But only if you respond to the “want” in the appropriate way.

Surrender is how to respond to a want. Feel the feeling(s) brought on by the want, by the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Lean into the visceral experience. This is challenging because it’s not what you were taught to do. Maybe you were taught to talk about it,  (or ignore it!!), to wrestle with it mentally, argue with it, stifle it, or even give loud voice to the complaints it sprouts.

Instead, feel… the ache, the tightness, the weight, the pressure – whatever physical and psychic sensations accompany the want. Make space and time for yourself to surrender to it, and just feel the feelings. They are messages from your soul, but you must feel them all the way through to translate them. Allow them their journey. It’s natural for them to transmute. If it is a long-embedded emotion, it may take quite a while.

After you’ve allowed this process you are in a state of detachment. Now you can ask the feeling what it desires you to see, feel, or know about your self or the situation. Warning: most of us try to jump to this detached state, without going through the feeling. We jump to a mental space instead of staying with the physical sensations. It just plain doesn’t work.

The appropriate way to respond to a desire, on the other hand, is committed action. According to your guidance, of course—get on the phone, clean the closet, buy the plane ticket. Write the book, plan the trip, hire a real estate agent.

Coach’s Challenge: Play with manifesting magic: want vs. desire this week. Identify when you are feeling a want, and when you are feeling a desire. Hone your ability to tell the difference. Make lots of space and time for surrendering to the feelings and allowing them to run their course. Take a walk. Garden. Lie down and feel. Only after doing this can you ask “What is the message from my soul?” Notice the authentic desires that come forth, and greet them with the unequivocal “yes” of committed action. Let me know what you discover!