No matter where you are in life – still actively parenting children at home, immersed in your work life, or retired, if you are reading this, it’s important to you to really live your life. Living, to me, is being fully involved, active, immersed. As opposed to sitting back, just watching, and “enjoying.”
There is nothing wrong with watching and enjoying, in its time and place. But as a regular diet, it gets old fast. Things in the Universe are either expanding, or contracting. Growing, or dying. That includes our lives. Nothing can ever really stay exactly as it is. Doing nothing, just waiting, slides into contraction very quickly.
What does it take to expand? Let’s say you aren’t chasing your next promotion, so there isn’t anything that obvious in front of you. How can you move out of just reacting to life, waiting for… whatever, keeping the status quo? It seems to me 3 things are required: decision, risk, and action.
- Decision. I listened to Suzanne Evans today (www.helpmorepeople.com). She asked this question: “Do you have a desire, or have you made a decision?” Quoting Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, she said, “When you make a decision, you burn the ship and all resources of retreat.” She also quoted motivational teacher John Assaraf: “If you are interested, you do what is convenient. If you are committed, you do whatever it takes.” Expansion starts with a decision.
- Risk. This one is simple. Your decision must involve a certain level of risk to be true expansion. Not necessarily physical risk. It might be risk of rejection, of having your heart broken, your idea laughed at, your performance booed, your money “wasted.” If there is that kind of risk, then it’s something that really matters to you, which means it also offers true potential for fulfillment. You have to lay it on the line. Mind, as above, if you are truly committed, even if the risk plays out in its worst form, you will keep going and find another way.
- Action. A decision is only brain-candy if it is not supported by action. In relation to taking action, Suzanne Evans also got my attention when she talked about the Cycle of Quitting. It’s something like this: you feel fear, so you quit. Ah, you feel some relief. Whew! Then you second-guess yourself, followed by more fear. Now you are judging yourself, which is so uncomfortable you quickly switch to blame. More fear. On it goes. As humans, this is always going on. The question is, at what point do we quit? When does the fear get so overwhelming that we require the relief quitting provides? Look back on your experiences. What’s your pattern? What makes you stop?
Note: as a hand analyst, it’s clear to me you will quit when your Life Lesson looms large. I quit when I perceive rejection as failure, and I lose faith in myself. But knowing that allows me to make a different choice (with practice!)
Coach’s Challenge: Are you expanding or contracting? What are your desires right now? Which one gives you that little ripple of nerves when you think about it? Are you willing to turn that “I want to” into “I will, no matter what?” Where is your “panic point” – the one that usually makes you stop? What small thing can you plan to do to interrupt that cycle – to keep yourself from quitting?
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Lindy McLaine, of www.wecansoar.com, helps people in the second bloom of life pinpoint their Life Purpose and create the best possible lives they can imagine. She is using her creativity to attract a community who responds to today’s challenges.by stepping up to the plate and into their gifts, while believing in each other and themselves.
