“I’ve never given much attention to disappointment,” my friend said. “It’s such a wussy emotion!”
It made me think about how disappointment points to desire.
This friend is one of the most capable people I know, with a sunny disposition and a can-do attitude. She went on to explain how she’s jumped to looking on the bright side, and making the best of reality.
I, on the other hand, have plenty of experience getting up-close and personal with disappointment. In fact, I’ve spent far too much time allowing disappointment to immobilize me. My approach is not the way to go. But there is a drawback to my friend’s approach as well.
Let’s talk about the hidden benefit of disappointment—the reason disappointment deserves your attention.
As taillights indicate the direction a car is headed (lighting the opposite way), so disappointment points to desire. Desire points where you want to go. Some people have trouble accessing their desire. If that’s true for you, try checking in with your disappointment. Use it as a guide.
Disappointment happens when something you want doesn’t work out. Please don’t brush by that “something you want” part. In being trained to be practical, to make the best of things, when faced with disappointment it’s easy to make the mistake of shelving the desire.
Instead of letting go of the what, be open to a new how. Just because this avenue didn’t lead to your treasure, doesn’t mean your treasure is unreachable. As long as you hold your treasure in a positive emotional state, apply patience and persistence, and stay open and willing to travel new avenues, that treasure, that desire, will, in time, be yours.
I saw a wonderful film this week: Woman in Gold, starring Helen Mirren and Ryan Reynolds. (Gets 5 stars from me!) It’s based on a true story. Helen finally becoming willing to take action on her disappointment leads to groundbreaking art restitution. (With a lot of patience, persistence, and detachment!) Don’t miss this film—funny, moving, gorgeous—it’s a keeper.
Click here to read about the real person, real events, this film is based on.
Coach’s Challenge: Regard your disappointments as the taillights of your desire, and see where they point you. Thoughts? Stories? Leave me a comment below!
Lindy MacLaine of lindymaclaine.com is a Life Purpose and Creativity Coach whose messages empower and inspire those in the second bloom of life to reclaim their dreams, reignite their passions and rekindle their joy.
She is the author of the fantasy adventure book The Curse of the Neverland, for those ages 10-100 who loved the Neverland and wanted to go there for something far more than Spring Cleaning.
