Happy New Year to you!
Sometimes I wonder, with dates indicating a fresh start like New Year’s: “Have I made any progress, or am I still standing in the same place?” Birthdays are like that as well, for me. It’s the inevitable question of “What do I hope to accomplish this year?” that brings on the discomfort. I wonder whether it makes sense to set a goal if the last one I made still remains incomplete.
First, I’ll admit openly to the personality tendencies that move my thoughts in this direction: Perfectionism and a tendency toward guilt lead the pack. You might relate. I’m the person who never wanted to go to a class reunion because of the terror of not measuring up. “Measuring up to what?” you might ask. In the end, it’s really about my own expectations.
One solution is to quit setting goals – but the solution I recommend is to adjust your expectations. Not lowering them! I spent years in a state of survival through vastly lowered expectations, and that does nothing but produce a greyish low-level life. Instead, I recommend taking the view of our far-sighted friends the eagle and the condor. What is the big picture of what you are attempting? What is the reason behind this goal? What are you really after?
Very likely it all boils down to wanting to feel happy. Perhaps there is also something about wanting to know you are living full out, using your talents and gifts. If your answer is “success,” I encourage you to define exactly what success is to you — it will help with the next step.
Now that you are clear on your end goal, take a new look at this past year. Look for ways you have shifted your behavior. Things that are tipping you toward your end goal. More minutes of happiness in a day. More thoughts and feelings of fulfillment. Life is a process. You are a work in progress. There is plenty of time, and some steps take time.
If you feel like you are struggling with the same challenge as last year, look at it in this context: life’s progress can be like a helix. You may be looking in the same direction as last go-‘round, but you have added experience, new thoughts, new reactions, new patterns into the mix. It really is not the same as last year when you observe closely and remove judgment from the mix.
Coach’s Challenge: Put on your eagle eyes. Look deeply at where your heart wants to take you. Look at the last year, notice the ways you have listened to your heart and acted on its nudges. You’re on your path! Celebrate New Years, and promise to moderate self-criticism with those eagle eyes more often. Go ahead and set those heart-driven goals – they can be the same as last year’s, it doesn’t mean you failed last year! Ask again: Have I made any progress? The answer is a resounding YES! Share your progress in a comment below!
P.S. Remember that I offer coaching packages. If you like my style and want help accelerating your spiritual and personal progress, reply to this e-mail, and we’ll set up a call to talk about your needs.
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