Sorry for the language, but truly, it does. It sucks not to know. This is my very human self talking – the part of me that interfaces with the world, with the future, with the unknown.

I’m an admitted control freak. Do you know anything about that? I’m a “nice person,” a perfectionist, and a control freak. All for the purpose of staying safe, remaining liked, and not being wrong. These are simple defense tactics, though sometimes a bit on the passive-aggressive side.

So what does not knowing have to do with it? This week I’ve experienced working hard toward a goal, and finding little to no support for it from the Universe. What I envisioned is just not happening. Maybe I haven’t done all I needed to do to bring my goal about – but I have the distinct feeling there is more to it than that. 

I believe that we each have a calling – a destiny, to put it in romantic terms. Something we came here to do. Never mind that our hands tell us a whole lot about it, in the end, it comes from our heart and soul. It comes to us through our desires. And while all animals know without thinking what they want next, we humans have so effectively buried our desires, that when asked what we want, we haven’t a clue.

Unearthing your desires is a process. This week I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet. She articulates this process in detail; I encourage you to listen to what she has to say. You must act on the desire that feels most authentic, but it may not be your ultimate desire. It may just be a step along the way.

This is where I think I am right now. Maybe you’re experiencing something like it.

I thought this was what I wanted to do, I but it isn’t working out at all. And the truth is, I feel kind of relieved that it isn’t. 

This has to be a clue. Relief that it isn’t working indicates there is something even more juicy; something even better aligned with who you are and what you have to give.

The tough part is, not knowing what it is. Which brings me back to where I started: it sucks not to know.

What is required is to relax, instead of tensing up. To trust instead of worrying or giving up. There is no short-cut. You need this step to get to the next one. 

One of my cats loves to hang upside down. I carry her in my arms as she lays on her back and arches, her head and front paws hanging toward the ground. She doesn’t know where she’s going, or what’s going to happen to her. She doesn’t have to. She just relaxes and enjoys the ride. This is my goal this week: to relax and enjoy the ride.

Coach’s Challenge: Take an honest look at where you are. Are you trying to control everything around you? Allow that this may be like struggling against the tide. If you relax, it will carry you a lot faster than if you try on your own. The destination may not be the one you imagined. Odds are it’ll be something even better. Deep breath. Trust. Another deep breath. Let go. Repeat throughout the day. Try it. Relax and enjoy the ride. Let me know how it goes!

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Lindy McLaine, of www.wecansoar.com, helps people in the second bloom of life pinpoint their Life Purpose and create the best possible lives they can imagine. She is using her creativity to attract a community who responds to today’s challenges by stepping up to the plate and into their gifts, while believing in each other and themselves.