This week I got to practice receiving compliments.
The way you receive compliments is the way you receive other things in life… like money, opportunities, good fortune.
Receiving is a skill, a muscle that can be strengthened and honed.
Many of you know I’ve been competing in my Toastmasters International Speaking Contest. On March 6th, I took first place in my club contest. Last Friday, I took first in my Area Contest. I will compete in my Division Contest on March 23rd. Beyond that are the Division, Region, and International Levels.
Here’s the part about receiving compliments:
After each contest, I posted a photo on FaceBook of me winning my first place certificate. I was absolutely STUNNED at the congratulatory notes that flooded in. Generally when I post something, I get some “likes” and perhaps a few comments. After my club contests, I received almost 30 compliments. After the Area Contest, almost 40!
I practiced what I preach regarding receiving compliments, which is this:
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Say “Thank you!” It gives weight and validity to the person’s compliment.
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Do not add a qualifying remark (like: “Oh, but I forgot my lines part-way through!”)
The practice of qualifying or diminishing compliments was taught to us to “keep us humble,” or to “keep us socially acceptable/likeable.” We call it “being modest.”
But think about the last time you complimented someone and they qualified it or brushed it off. It left you feeling slightly frustrated, slightly dissatisfied, even possibly slightly irritated, right? This is because we can feel that the compliment we just freely gave from our hearts, was not received.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter if you agree with the compliment or not. Give the gift of receiving with simple grace and gratitude!
Thank you, by the way, for the flood of generosity!
Coach’s Challenge:
I’ve given this challenge before—but one cannot practice receiving compliments too often. When someone compliments you this week, breathe it all the way in. Then exhale, feeling the warmth their words delivered. Say “thank you” with your heart full of real gratitude.
