There is an argument in western society, especially when it comes to women, that it really is possible to “do it all” and “have it all.”
I personally think that’s hooey.
Granted, I am over the 50-year mark, and that makes me different than a 30-year-old energy wise. My human design is “The Projector,” also known for limited energy supply. So you may not feel as I do.
But from my perspective, it’s a matter of choosing to do and have those things that provide the greatest delight. For me, creativity is right there at the top of delight-makers, along with meaningful relationships. In order to get those two things, I have to NOT do everything. But when I get those 2 things, I do “have it all.”
My question is, where do you say no to say yes? In order to focus your time and energy on the things that pay you the highest dividends, what boundaries do you have to set? What do you say “no” to?
I believe this deserves a very careful look. As women, we are taught from a very young age to tend to ourselves last. So it’s not at all uncommon for a client to say to me “where am I going to find the time for all that self care?” For the journaling? For the exercise? For the chunks of creative time?
Ah… That is just what I’m asking you. What can you let go of to make room for something better?
Look for time-sucks and energy-sucks. No-brainer things that use up loads of time, like e-mail, Facebook, TV, texting, etc. Also, look for things you could reasonably let slide a little longer. Can you do the laundry every 10 days instead of every week? (Stretch whatever the ordinary interval is for you now in your household.) Even better, can you make the request of someone else? Ask them if they would do it so you can do what really makes you content.
Look for caregiving or caretaking you do needlessly—is it possible that person might learn to do x,y,or z better if you don’t do it for them?
It really IS necessary to say “no” so you can say “yes.”
It’s also critical that you simply start with the “yes” and put it at the TOP of your list instead of the bottom. The “no”s will become clear quite quickly when you do that.
Coach’s Challenge: Say “yes” this week to something that feeds your spirit. Once you do, do it again. When you’ve done that delightful thing a few times, be it creative, exercise, self-expression, or just taking time and space for you, let me know what you find—where you say no to say yes!
Lindy MacLaine of lindymaclaine.com is a Life Purpose Coach whose messages empower and inspire those in the second bloom of life to reclaim their dreams, reignite their passions and rekindle their joy.
She is the author of the fantasy adventure book The Curse of the Neverland, for those ages 9-90 who loved the Neverland and wanted to go there for something far more than Spring Cleaning.
