All around me this week, I’ve been aware of profound human struggle brought about by loss, and large life obstacles. A friend lost her father suddenly. Another severed a connection with a parent for self-preservation, only to find her partner severing his relationship with her. Another is dealing with the profound emotional backwash of divorce. Yet another received a cancer diagnosis.
My life is cake, right now, in comparison. But I experienced a small obstacle, this week, that got me thinking about how the choice of how we respond to these obstacles dictates whether we continue to move forward on our chosen path to fulfill our Life Purpose, or abandon it.
I said I would talk, this week, about putting muscle on your dream’s bones. This is simple (but not easy). It involves 3 things: intention, commitment, and action.
What comes up between the intention to follow a dream and actually walking the path of that dream, is Resistance. Something happens, small or large, to distract us, delay us, and obstruct our progress. When filled with fear, doubt, and other pain, it is so very easy to think: “this must be a sign. I must not be supposed to do (X). X being anything creative, any life habit change for better health or increased life of the spirit, any educational pursuit, any commitment of the heart, and, of course, anything that will result in tighter abs.
Let me clarify something. I am not saying that life events, like death, divorce, losing a job, etc. are caused by our Resistance. I am saying that our Resistance can sink its hooks into these events, and use them to its advantage to keep us indefinitely from our higher intentions.
Just for laughs, I’ll recount my small obstacle. I spent three days writing and rewriting and rewriting, and rewriting yet again, my query letter to a literary agent I’ve wanted to submit my book to, for some time. (Another excellent example of Resistance, playing out as procrastination.) I finally determined the letter was as good as I could make it, and I emailed it off, per the agent’s submission instructions. Then the e-mail bounced back, as undelivered. I tried from another e-mail account. Same result. The agent has dual offices, in NYC and London. Her website is hosted by a British webhosting company, and the error message I get is that the Border Patrol has blocked delivery of my e-mail, because I’m unknown. ??? LOL!
The point is not the bizarre circumstance, but my reaction. “This must be a sign,” I thought. “Being represented by an agent must not be in the cards for me.” Take note, my friends. That is the voice of Resistance. Powerful and insidious, it can interpret anything from a charge not going through on our credit card, to the death of a loved one, as a message from the Divine telling us to stop.
Some time ago, I wrote about Resistance and quoted a lot from the fabulous little book by Steven Pressfield: The War of Art. If you haven’t seen this book, you should run, not walk, to the library, to Amazon, to Barnes & Noble, or to your local indie book store, and get this book. Order it if they don’t have it on the shelves.
I’ll leave you with 2 things: my heart-felt, bone-deep empathy for deep pain life may be dishing out to you, and these wise words from Steven Pressfield: “Resistance is directly proportional to love. The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise/commitment of the heart is to you – and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.” That’s the real sign from the Divine, my friend: the depth of your love.
Coach’s Challenge: Build on your dream bones this week. What’s your intention? Define it clearly. Write it down. Now commit to it. Outline what actions it requires. What’s the smallest thing you can do this week to act on your dream? Now do it. Notice where the Resistance shows up, because it will. Do it anyway.
