This week I had a meeting scheduled with someone with whom I was feeling pretty upset. I knew I needed to deal with the feelings before the meeting, because in this particular case, spending our meeting time sorting through the issues wasn’t going to be a wise use of my time. So I scheduled a rant. Boy, did I get a surprise when I sat down with pen and paper and did it! More on that in a bit…
Inevitably, in the course of giving someone a Life Purpose Hand Analysis, I will ask “Do you journal?” (Hang on, I promise I’ll get to the what good is ranting part…)
I get a range of responses, of course. From “I used to” to “It’s never worked for me” to “What am I supposed to say in a journal?”
If you are in the School of Love, journaling is really essential. But no matter what Life School you’re in, you live with your emotions. Emotions need to flow in order to be healthy, just as a healthy stream needs to flow. Dammed up, or dried out, it’s not healthy. Journaling provides a safe place for your emotions to flow. It’s not about making sense, or constructing solid narrative. It’s about emptying your guts. It’s about ranting.
Note: it seems my School of Peace clients find journaling really at odds with how they do things. Emotions are in your body. School of Peace folks are on a journey to get comfortable being in a body. If this is you, it means you have to access the emotion directly. Instead of putting a name to it and “talking” about it, you must go through fully feeling and releasing the emotion itself. This is one of the reasons it’s so critical to exercise, to move, to physically express in the School of Peace.
To process my emotions directly, I dance to music (my NIA class. Yes!) I can sometimes get access while simply walking or biking (though this brings an experience of emotion through language like journaling: “ranting” in my head or even aloud). Receiving Reiki is the other way I get direct access to emotion. If you haven’t explored receiving Reiki, check out my mid-year sale – best deal you’ll get, or just sign up for one month and try it out. For many of my clients, Reiki has improved their moods. I believe this is why: Reiki energy breaks up emotional dams and helps release them. It helps create a healthy flow.
To journal your feelings, first identify how you feel. For some folks, this takes some doing. There’s a stripping away of thought and defenses to reach this awareness. Quiet down, feel into your gut. Go for subtlety. Try to be aware of irritation, rather than waiting for rage. Restless rather than crazy-dead-bored. Sadness rather than despair. Not that the extremes aren’t okay, not at all. Rather that when you can name and express it in its milder version, you keep the flow moving.
Besides, sometimes there are embedded jewels to be harvested! (Which is what happened for me in my rant.)
OK. You’ve been very patient. Back to my rant. I sat down and “told” this person (on paper) how upset I was about the way she’d been behaving. (My perception, all one-sided.) I proceeded to tell her what she “should” be doing. I had just about finished, when I stopped in my tracks and re-read the last paragraph. Oh my gosh – I realized it was what I should be doing! It wasn’t about her. Ultimately, it was about me. And by the way, it worked like a charm – our was productive and smooth, with none of the loaded subtext or charged atmosphere that would have been there otherwise.
This is one of the ways the Universe works. When something is really bugging or upsetting you, it’s quite likely there is what I call “mirror learning” involved. Ask yourself: What aspect of the thing that’s upsetting you, applies to you? Or just rant. I’ll bet good money that somewhere in your rant you’ll find you’re giving advice you need to apply to yourself. Voila! It’s a wonderfully backward yet effective way to get the guidance you need!
Coach’s Challenge: Process your emotions this week. Journal, move your body in ways that brings up emotion, or get some energy work like Reiki. Even if you hate journaling, I challenge you to try a rant. Do it without thinking about yourself. Then go back and read what you’ve written with self-aware eyes, and see what wisdom you’ve unearthed! Come back and leave a comment. Tell us the story, let us know. We’re on this journey together!
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