Last week we talked about getting to know the flavor of your particular Life Lesson combination – recognized through the mental refrain that stops you. This week we’re going to take it one step further. Because beyond that loud refrain that is your “reason” for turning back, there is an entire cascade of chatter.

You’ve heard the term “monkey mind.” An awareness of monkey mind comes when meditating. In trying to quiet the mind, its incessant activity makes itself known. It’s not particularly deep activity most of the time, but it sure is loud, and difficult to control. Hence the term “monkey mind.”

Monkey mind chatter can be as simple and irrelevant as: “My nose itches. I wonder if it’s gong to snow tomorrow? Geez, I got angry when so-and-so did such-and-such. I’m hungry. What shall I have for lunch? The laundry sure is stacking up.” It jumps here and there, thoughts connected only through the mind’s gymnastics.

But the voice in your head also has patterns. It has a tone, a style, mannerisms, even a personality. This week I became painfully aware of mine.

I am on a number of “lists” of personal and business growth gurus. Often these days, videos with valuable content are given for free, and if enjoyed, it seeds a positive relationship. Business is all about relationship, and about service.

Side note: For you Schools of Love and Service people, pay attention!
Including the exchange of money for a valuable service in a relationship based on respect, trust, even love, is profound. It can even be sacred, as money is such a powerful way of expressing what we value deeply. So don’t make the mistake of separating love and service from business, or of feeling that money necessarily cheapens a relationship!

Back to my story. I watched a video with David Neagle – a power of thought guru who has mentored a ton of successful entrepreneurs in both personal and business success. His video asks: “Who is that Voice in My Head?” He encourages noticing the negative voice in your head, identifying whose voice it is, and replacing it with a positive voice (perhaps yours at a certain age, or God, or someone whose positive approach you admire. He said the negative voice in your head is rarely your own.

Almost immediately, I had occasion to actually hear the tirade of criticism and self-sabotage that is my own particular voice. If I had occasion to meet that voice in person, it definitely would not be someone I would like. This shocked me – even though I’ve lived with that voice for 5 decades, hearing its character was revolting, horrifying, and incredibly discouraging.

But noticing is a place of power. You have to notice something before you can change it.

I decided that at 11 years old I felt on top of the world. I’m trying out that voice. It feels silly, and I roll my eyes when I replace what I’ve been treating as the “mature” voice in my mind with a child’s.

However, the outcome is immediate. Instead of feeling “put in my place,” or “cut down to size,” I can actually smile. I was checking in books at the library. I replaced the tirade of criticism about how I handled a recent event with “wow, this is fun! Look how cool – I wand the barcode, it beeps, and tells me where the book belongs!” This not only changed who was talking to me, it brought me back to the present moment.

I hope to build on this kind of “childish” chatter in my head. I expect it can make me a lot nicer person, and help me love my life a great deal more.

Let’s toast: “To childish!”

Coach’s Challenge: Start listening to your own tirade. Whose voice is it? It may be a combination, but identify it as closely as you can. It will help later, to recognize it, if it has a name. Notice the effect this voice is having on you. Choose who you’d like to have talking in your head, and try it out. Caution: this exercise requires the kind of love and patience you would offer a small child learning to tie their shoes. And leave a comment here, relating your experience.