Two weeks ago I began this series to offer you a set of buoys for navigating change.
The second key to navigating change is compassion.
When I say change, I mean the kind of change that comes as a blow to your sense of self: like divorce, losing a job, or the death of someone you love. So far I’ve shared the central key: creativity. (My definition: the state of being in which you mindfully place yourself between inspiration and expression.) I said creativity is synonymous with “the deep flow of your heart and soul.”
On to compassion. Why is it important?
When life brings you to a grinding halt, whether by wearing you down or dropping you out of the blue, it’s normal to feel completely disoriented. Creativity helps to get your life force flowing again. Once a bit of energy returns, the question comes “Now what do I do?” Compassion is your compass.
The etymology of “compassion” is Latin, meaning “to suffer with.” I also saw compassion articulated as “to pity.” But to me, “pity” brings a sense of being above another’s suffering—unaffected by it. This key I bring to you is one of feeling a resonance in your being.
One of the first things to fly out the window when you go through a big life change is your sense of purpose. You’re no longer quite clear about who you are and what you are here to do. The energy of compassion helps us to know what we care deeply about.
When you feel the resonance in your being that compassion brings, it’s like plucking a string inside a piano—overtones will also ring. Those overtones also give you important information, and a set of choices about where putting your energy will feel significant and satisfying. (Illustration at right: from The Curse of the Neverland, my first book.)
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you just lost your best friend. You are out on a walk, and you see a child playing with her dog. You feel a rush of emotion. Your friend loved dogs, too, and it plucks the grief string. But there’s more there. The child is laughing, the dog is wiggling—you remember a pet you had earlier in your life that brought you incredible comfort, solace, and joy. There are all kinds of overtones here.
From this, you might decide to train a service dog to bring comfort to others. You might take yourself to the playground where you can watch more children laughing. You might get a pet, or go cuddle with the one you have right now.
There isn’t a “right” answer—there is just finding meaning again. And you find it in nibbles and drabs, until one day you bite in and realize you’ve arrived at the 3rd key: clarity. Tune in for more next week!
Coach’s Challenge: You don’t have to be in the midst of life-altering change to use these keys. This week I challenge you to tune in to compassion—notice in situations around you when a chord is being struck that has overtones for you. Acknowledge the feelings and meaning of those overtones as unique to who you are and what you bring to the world.
