I’ve been getting a great big lesson in attachment:
the good, the bad, and the ugly.
My husband and I are selling our camper van (which we’ve owned for 10 years and to which we’ve each become attached in our own ways). Consequently, we’re riding an emotional roller coaster. We’ve argued, we’ve lost sleep, and generally gone slightly mad.
“It’s amazing,” my husband said, “how you can get so emotionally wacked out over a piece of metal! It doesn’t breathe, it doesn’t talk… how can it be so powerful?”
It’s the attachment that makes it so powerful. It has nothing to do with the vehicle itself, not with reality, nor logic. It’s purely attachment: to some idea, to memories, to associated values, associated status, to self-perceptions, and so on
Here’s the image that’s come to me: Imagine… a spider.
Most of us go through life like a spider: we eat, sleep, dance, work, mate, etc., on the web we’ve woven. Your web is attached in multiple places.
You’ve got attachments to places, people, and things. You’re attached to your home, to your work, to various people. You’re attached to familiar things you use or experience regularly—a paring knife, a brand of shampoo, certain music, foods and beverages, clothing, you might even be attached to certain weather conditions. Supposedly spiritual progress leads to detachment, but I haven’t experienced it yet!
When one or more of these attachments is cut away, it unexpectedly disturbs everything.
Nobody likes drama or suffering—but severed attachments cause both. So what’s to be done?
Of course: be enlightened, live in the now, breathe, recognize that this moment is our point of power and none other, blah, blah, blah—but all that can fly out the window in the face of sudden change. So… what?
Here’s what:
Keep going. Don’t let your emotional distress dissuade you from your course of action. It gets worse before it gets better, I promise you. All that illogical emotion will rule the day for a time. Let it breathe. Go ahead, feel crazy. Notice those places where your attachment is still steady, and feel gratitude. And…
Trust. Have faith.
You are one heck of a talented spider. You’ll have your web repaired or re-spun in no time. Once your balance is restored, the severed attachment no longer feels so threatening. Life comes with attachment and change. I hope to simply keep my sense of humor and laugh as I awkwardly navigate both!
Coach’s Challenge: Tune in to some of your attachments. Are any of them guaranteed to be permanent? Probably not. If we’re lucky, we won’t lose all of them at the same time. Imagine yourself as a spider; see how adept you are at forming new attachments when you lose one. Have faith in your amazing ability to adapt and endure! Oh, and practice laughing at yourself—it helps!
