Self-Care and Family a la Madeleine L’Engle:
If you get my Piper Pan newsletter, you saw that I’m reading one of Madeleine L’Engle’s excellent non-fiction memoirs: The Summer of the Great-Grandmother: The Crosswicks Journal, Book 2. Crosswicks is the big farmhouse in New England where Madeleine and her family live part of the year—summers bring four generations together‑can you imagine how intense that could be? This book is about the summer when Madeleine’s mother’s health took a sharp descent.
I quoted a story about poppies in my book newsletter—I’ve got a different section picked out for you, my creative seeker friend! This wisdom is about self-care and family. Perhaps partly because I am headed to a large gathering for a family wedding.
I’m always talking about the importance of self-care… So this paragraph jumped out at me—I know the more I hear a message from different experts, the more I pay attention. Believe me, Madeleine L’Engle is always worth paying attention to!
I learned several years ago that a four-generation summer can only be a good one if we all have our own survival routines. Each of us must find a time of solitude and privacy. Hugh, when he is in Crosswicks, goes to his garden. Alan goes to the Tower to read and write. I do not want to take my pain out on the rest of the family, so every afternoon, before time to cook dinner, I go across the fields to the brook, pushing through the tall grass nearly ready for its first haying, with the dogs circling joyfully about me. […]
I used to feel guilty about spending morning hours working on a book; about fleeing to the brook in the afternoon. It took several summers of being totally frazzled by September to make me realize that this was a false guilt. I’m much more use to family and friends when I’m not physically and spiritually depleted than when I spend my energies as though they were unlimited. They are not. The time at the typewriter and the time at the brook refresh me and put me into a more workable perspective.
She says it well and clearly: you can give more to those you love when you give to yourself first! Self-care and family are best together!
Coach’s Challenge: Take a look at how you are prioritizing yourself on your to-do lists. Make sure you have at least one thing at the top of the list each day that fills you. This guarantees a more ready well of love and generosity to share with others.
