I’ve been on a roll in the Toastmasters International Speech Competition this year.
Sweet Success! First I won in my club, then in my Area, then (barely) at the Division. This past Saturday, I attended my District Annual Conference, where the next level of the competition was held. There were 6 of us competing, and…
I WON!
Why is success so sweet?
Through the flurry of congratulations and heightened positive attention, I’m reflecting on the experience of success. Our culture holds it in VERY high regard. No wonder it’s so sweet, it’s what “everybody wants.” Sweet success is a high.
Like summiting a mountain, once you reach the top, what follows is the descent. Highs and lows are a guarantee in your life.How does one handle the roller coaster ride with anything like grace? And more, how can you maintain equanimity? How can you keep from attaching, or identifying with those ups and downs?
Most of us feel good when we succeed, rotten when things aren’t going our way. We tend to define ourselves with our performance.
How to handle the roller coaster ride…
Many years ago, I went on a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation retreat. “Grand Silence” was observed. This meant not only was there no talking, there was no meeting of another’s eyes—no verbal or silent communication.
That retreate is a story unto itself—I reference it because that’s where I first heard “equanimity” preached as a way of life. The teacher, “Goenka,” (now dead—all his teachings are delivered via video recording), became a dear friend—after all, his voice was the only one I heard for 10 whole days! His guidance was the lifeline for getting through that intense experience. Equanimity means remaining whole and calm and well no matter what else you are experiencing: good or bad, painful or ecstatic.(My definition.)
Since winning the District Contest:
I’ve witnessed my visibility and popularity in my Toastmasters District skyrocket. Yes, I’ve leveraged it for my goals of getting more publicity for my club, getting guest speakers to say “yes,” and so on.
My conclusion, at this moment:
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the highs—not at all. In fact, grounding the positive emotion for future reference (summoning happiness to attract more happiness,) is a useful coping tool.
When sweet success visits you:
Keep your sense of humor. Recognize that you are the same unique, complex, and amazing person whether winning or losing, succeeding or failing. This is finding the sweet spot of equanimity.
I will attend the International Conference (in Chicago this year), at the end of August. There I’ll compete in the regional semi-finals, and if successful, perhaps the world stage finals. On that stage, ten of Toastmasters’ finest from all over the globe compete for the coveted title of “World Champion Speaker” every year.
I ask for equanimity. May you live in equanimity as well—knowing the shape of life around you does not equal YOU.
Coach’s Challenge:
Go within and reflect on your outer circumstances. Are they dictating how you feel inside, about yourself and your life? If so, take a deep breath, and consider another option. Consider the possibility of equanimity. Equanimity is the peaceful, middle roadbetween the ecstasy of sweet success and the depression of doldrums of failure. Leave a comment below if this rings a chord for you!
