Embracing change is hard.
It’s one of the hardest things in the world for me. I can’t say why exactly, as I enjoy variety, and challenges. The very hardest kind of change for me is change involving the people around me.
People leaving is hardest for me.
People dying, or moving away, or simply moving on with their lives: new job, new pursuits. In part, I don’t like to be left behind. Mostly I get very connected to those in my community, and if I’m honest, I even feel (undeserved and unfair, but real nevertheless)—a small sense of betrayal.
“How could you leave me?” “How can you move on without me?” “Why are you leaving me behind?”
My response says I am taking personally something that is not personal.
Does this happen to you?
If so, here’s the advice I am giving myself. Maybe it will serve you as well.
- Feel your feelings. Feel the sadness, the anger, the loss—don’t hold back. But feel it through writing in your journal, or talking to yourself while walking, or sharing with a confidential party.
- Wait until you’ve processed your feelings for yourself before speaking to the person directly. Sometimes there is very old anger, sadness or betrayal that comes up and gets mixed in, that doesn’t relate to this person.
- Forgive them. (Use the Hawaiian Cajuna Prayer:
“I love you,
I’m sorry,
Please forgive me,
Thank you.” - Find a way to celebrate and acknowledge what moving on means for this person.
- If you discover you are envious, plan a next step for yourself!
- Express your gratitude for the shared time you’ve enjoyed. The universe loves gratitude—feeling it signals what to bring more of!
Tempus fugit—carpe diem.
Time flies—seize the day. Life is ever-changing. It seems resisting change generally brings more suffering.
I ask to be grateful for each day I’m given, and revel in connections as long as they are there.
Coach’s Challenge:
How are you with change? How are you with people moving on? If embracing change is easy for you and you have more advice than what I’ve given myself above, please leave me a comment and share your wisdom!