What does it take for our girls to step up to their lives with confidence and a positive outlook on their future? Here are three things they need: choices, real life role models, and healthy heroes. (I’ve never liked the word “heroine.” When I say “heroes,” in this case I mean female heroes.)
Of course the state of the world is an issue along with basic issues of safety, shelter, nutrition, education, and so forth. But I’m talking about how you can immediately have an enormous and lasting impact on empowering girls in your life.
It has to do with how YOU are living YOUR life. Children believe what you do, not what you say.
I’m basically from a privileged background. I was born in America, I’m Caucasian, middle class, I’ve enjoyed the benefits of education. The sky should have been the limit for me. What held me back was not circumstances, but poor self-esteem and a deep belief that my choices as a female were limited. Why? My parents told me I could be anything I wanted. But I didn’t believe it because they were unhappy—unfulfilled in their own lives. How could I claim my dreams when clearly they hadn’t succeeded in claiming theirs?
Approaching her 60th birthday, my mother was in a bad way. She’d managed an amazing set of challenges for the past 40 years of family life, including raising 4 children while moving every couple of years. By outward appearances she was successful. All 4 kids were “out of the nest,” she’d built a successful massage business, and rebuilt her marriage to my father on a sturdier foundation. But inside, she felt the horizons of her life were shrinking. That year she broke out of her own perceived limitation through signing up for her first cross-country bicycle tour. It was a game changer not just for her, but for me.
My sense of what was possible in my life shifted when my mother changed her own sense of possibility.
It isn’t only about having choices. It’s about knowing you can act on them. When you give yourself permission to take care of yourself, prioritize you and deliver on your dreams, you model that freedom for all the girls in your life. And if you have sons, your self-empowerment teaches your boys to be great supporters of empowered women. That’s an enormous gift to the girls of the world as well!
In the act of empowering yourself, you provide all 3 of my empowering ingredients: a broader range of choices, a real life role model, and a healthy hero. (Yes, you’re the hero!)
As for fictional heroes, that’s one of the things I’m attempting to do with my forthcoming book, The Curse of the Neverland—provide the world with more girl heroes. Healthy ones, who reflect what it’s like to not just be a girl, but to be human.
Coach’s Challenge: Take a deep breath, and think about your life. You were probably brought up to believe what matters most is what you give to others. I don’t say that’s false, but I say no amount of giving makes up for a life unlived. Not just for you, but for your children. What can you do, today, to commit to living your life in a bigger way? How can you walk the talk you’ve been delivering to your children (or to others if, like me, you have no children)? Pray tell, leave a comment!
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